Help! I Am Codependent.

The realization of being codependent can be daunting. These behaviors often feel so ingrained in daily life that they appear normal to the person experiencing them. However, codependency may explain why life feels unfulfilling, relationships are exhausting and one-sided, and there is a loss of personal identity.

Codependency typically originates from childhood experiences. Childhood is a time when we learn about ourselves, others, and the world through relationships. When these foundational relationships with primary caregivers are unhealthy, children adapt to survive, often developing emotional and behavioral patterns that hinder happiness and well-being in adulthood.

What Can I Do About It?

The Good News

Codependent behaviors can change. Treatment involves exploring early childhood experiences, examining relationships with parents, caregivers, siblings, and others to understand how they shaped current dynamics. Treatment helps individuals rediscover themselves by:

• Identifying self-destructive behavioral and emotional patterns.
• Connecting with and experiencing a full range of emotions.
• Learning to navigate conflict effectively.
• Setting boundaries and learning to say no.
• Finding self-worth within, rather than relying on external validation.
• Taking responsibility for your own happiness and life.

These goals can be achieved through various therapeutic approaches:

• Individual Psychodynamic Psychotherapy
• Skills-Based Therapy such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
• Group Therapy
• Psychoeducation
• Family Therapy
• Couples Therapy
• Rehabilitation for substance use or other addictions
• Occupational Therapy to assist with daily living and employment
• Social Work Assistance where needed
• Psychiatric Referrals, if necessary

The More Difficult-to-Hear News

Change is challenging and often slow. It requires dedication and effort. It may involve family or partner participation, which isn’t always met with enthusiasm. Learning, self-awareness, and consistent work are essential.

That said, there is hope. A fulfilling life is within reach—you just have to fight for it.